Positivity - To Be Or Not To Be
Call it what you will – the power of positive thinking, mindfulness or having a positive mindset. Whatever you call it, if your thoughts are positive, you will be open to learning and growing through challenges or situations. Positivity is the foundation to a happier, healthier lifestyle.
On the flip side, if your thoughts are negative, you will be trying to figure out why things are happening to you. This mindset can make you anxious and stress your body out. The result can put your body into the fight or flight response. The fight or flight response suggests that the body is under attack. Mentally and physically, this is not what we want for our overall health and wellbeing.
If you are positive about situations or challenges by knowing everything will work out some way, somehow, then you will respond to day to day activities without being in flight or fight response and with a clear headspace ready to make more positive and productive choices.
A positive mindset has many health benefits, both mental and physical. Mental health benefits range from more confidence, improve your mood which can reduce better depression to help live a longer life. Positive thoughts can help to make you more resilient. Physical benefits can be to help boost the immune system, sleep better and make overall healthier choices throughout the day and cope better with stress.
So, now you understand that having a positive mindset is good for you. Great. However, what exactly is a positive mindset, mindfulness or the positive thinking? Simply put, it can be defined as general optimism or having positive self-talk. You want to aim for positive thoughts that are thinking, positive pictures in your head that you are imagining and talking to yourself in a positive voice.
I have been mindful of my self-talk being positive or quite some time. This has helped me to reach the goals I have set for myself and to live a happier, healthier lifestyle. I am not perfect, and from time to time, I notice my mindset shifting and my self-talk not being a positive as I need it to be. This usually happens when I am getting impatient when working toward a goal (so close, yet so far away – I stop celebrating my wins: a topic for another day), surrounded by people who criticise me instead of support and lift me up or when I am out of my routine for too long and become down or lazy. I’m not saying you can’t rest and recharge with a day of Netflix on the couch, but if a day becomes a weekend which turns into a week after work but then flows through the next weekend and all of a sudden, it’s been a month, well you get the point. It's understanding when this is happening to swap the negative self-talk with more positive self-talk to keep on keeping on.
Life is a journey of good times and bad times. We wouldn’t appreciate the good times without knowing and understanding what bad times are, but it doesn’t mean the bad times have to be the worst times.
If you notice that your thoughts are not as positive as you would like, that’s ok. If positive thinking does not come naturally to you, that is ok as well. It is what we do with this knowledge that is key. You can learn to shift your mindset to be more and more positive. I have been there, and I wouldn’t be saying that this could happen if it couldn’t be done. Trust me, it can, and I am proof. I have changed a lot over the years to understand that having a positive mindset is key to helping us be the best we can be, reach our goals and enjoy life to its fullest.
I have a lot of positive affirmations around my house stuck to the walls or written on mirrors. I also say a lot of positive affirmations or saying/quotes throughout the day to myself and others to remind myself to be more me and more positive.
Here are two of my favourites that I have been using a lot lately.
Positive Thoughts Equal Positive Outcomes
I believe in the power of the mind and all the goodness that comes with it. I believe in positive thoughts and that if you genuinely believe in what you are thinking, you will create the positive outcomes that you are after.
How to do this? Frist of all you create positive thoughts. Try out an activity such as journaling, morning affirmations or a gratitude exercise.
Journaling
In the mornings, I like to journal. When I journal, I put all my thoughts, goals and whatever else in on my mind onto paper. I do this to clear my head. It is more like a ‘mind dump’. I just realised what I was saying there, but I am going to go with it. Get all the shit that is in your head, out. Clear it up for the day so you can stop thinking about the stuff that doesn’t matter or is not as important as it sounds like it should be when it is up in your head.
I set the alarm for 10 minutes and write. You can set the alarm for however long you have time for, and you need. Write whatever comes to mind and you will be happily surprised at what you find. Sometimes I feel lighter; sometimes this gives me insight to what is really bothering me, or sometimes I get a massive ‘to-do’ list out of it that I can then prioritise and realise it’s not important at all.
Morning Affirmations
I tell myself I am worthy all the time. I am worth it! I stand in the mirror, or I talk out loud to myself. These are my morning affirmations. I tell myself who I am and it sounds amazing. Some of the affirmations I use are:
- I am worthy
- I am loved
- I am perfectly imperfect
- I love me
- I am loveable
- I am amazing
Tell yourself what you need to hear and mean what you say.
Gratitude Exercises
Gratitude exercises help to focus on the here and now as well as the small stuff. At night before I go to bed, I will write down or talk with Mark about what I am grateful for. I think of 3 to 5 situations that happened throughout the day and why I am thankful that they happened. I think about the small stuff like today I am grateful for Mark for making me lemon water in the morning. It means he is thinking about me and knows I will smile and appreciate the gesture. This is usually my favourite things about my day. It makes me feel special.
One of the things I was grateful for yesterday was being a part of a mother/ daughter (older mother/ daughter, 60s and 40s respectively) moment which resulted in a long genuine belly laugh. It was my favourite moment yesterday. To put it in context I was at work, and a client and her mother came to a display house to have a look around. The client is going to build a new home and is trying to downsize and keep to a smaller budget than her last build, but in our talks, she is still spending money. The mother and daughter were speaking in another language at times, and they were at this moment, and then the mother playfully smacked her daughter. My Mom does this to me when I am being silly; one of those what are you doing/ thinking type of moments to say ‘will you ever learn’. They both began to laugh, and the daughter explained to me that what I saw was exactly as what I just described. They left, and as they walked out to their car, I could hear them both talking and laughing, a good belly laughs even. Being in the moment was lovely. This moment made me smile and have a giggle to myself and appreciate the little things like mother/ daughter moments and belly laughs.
The little things are the best things and gratitude exercises help with making sure you are taking them all in. The little things in life are the positive things that you want to be focusing on to help you smile, enjoy life and have more positive thoughts. You can also be grateful for your wins – small or big – though out the day. This can help you celebrate what you are achieving.
I do my gratitude journaling at night, so I go to be with a positive mindset and in turn, I wake up with one as well.
You Attract What You Put Out
What I mean by this is around the law of attraction; you don’t attract what you want, you attract who you are. I believe the person you are – not the person you want to be or tell yourself you are going to be each morning – the person you are at your core is what you attract. If your core values are honesty, integrity and loyalty then you will choose to surround yourself with people who have the same, and in turn, more like-minded people will emerge in your life.
Do you know who you are? Do you love yourself? Have a read of my blog Love You! Own It & Mean It to understand more of who you are and why you are a fantastic human.
An example of this is back in the day when I was spending most of my time with a wonderful group of girl friends. We were all either in relationships or had recently come out of relationships or marriages. I was one of them who just came out of a breakup. I had broken up with someone that I thought was good for me at the time.
I believe all of us (my girls) found each other at this time because we were all needing something from each other. We also all had personal goals that we were striving to achieve. We were together a lot. All at the same time or just a couple of us here and there. The best part was there was no judgment on the past, the present. There was no shaming of who we had been or were trying to become. These were the purest of friendships. There were nights out, nights in, workouts of plenty, a lot of coffees and time spent together were we listened, talked, laughed and cried. We were there to support each other. We loved each other. We all loved ourselves as well.
It was like we were all right where we needed to be, there, together. In all honesty, this was one of my favourite time. I loved everything about me and the person I was working to become.
I believe because my friends and I had such great relationships we all in turn (over a few months actually) attracted new great relationships. To me we were us, being positive about ourselves and our futures and then we started to these amazing guys who had the same qualities. We were there for each other as these men came into our lives, some are still in the picture and others aren’t. We all had each other for support and clarity (I like to call it) during this time and knowing who we were and what we wanted helped. Today my friends are spread out around Australia and New Zealand because life keeps going, but at that moment in time, we were all sorts of positivity promoting each other.
I like to think because of the friendships we had and the positive vibes we put out; we attracted these men who had the same values and who could keep up with us. This is when I me Mark. Since then, we have moved away and leaving these girls has been one of the hardest challenges that I have had to overcome. Thank goodness for road trips!
Attracting friends and partners is just one example of what you put out; you will attract. The concept from this story can also be applied in the workplace with co-worker or clients. Being positive about yourself and others around you helps to live a happier, healthier life.
Positivity works in wondrous ways. Take some time to realise what kind of relationship you have with yourself based on your self-talk. If you are not feeling positive or would like to be more positive try the daily practices mentioned above. It may work, it may not… but don’t stop there. Try again because you might have to try and tweak all or one of the activities above so that it or they work for you.
Also, being mindful of who you are and what you are seeking in relationships from yourself, co-workers, clients or loved ones is key. Make sure you are your true self first and foremost so that you are attracting who you want to be attracting.
Leave a comment below on how you keep your thoughts positive and how it influences you and your daily life.
