Love Languages & Self-care
Love buckets are how I describe the self-care or self-love one needs based on their love languages. Love languages are very much about you and your partner, and I take it one step further. This blog will help you understand my wacky thinking along the lines of self-love and understanding what it is you need, when you need it and how to get it.
Love Languages
Have you heard of love languages? The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a great book that describes how to make your partner, family and friends feel loved based on the communication that they understand.
Quality Time
Also known as togetherness, this language is all about being present with the person.
Acts of Service
Doing tasks that you know your partner will appreciate being done. This is one for those of us who say, ‘actions speak louder than words’.
Words of Affirmation
Communicating to your partner in words that build him or her up.
Receiving Gifts
The act of receiving a gift that you appreciate because it is meaningful and thoughtful.
Physical Touch
When some likes holding hands, hugs and kisses. This may not be full on public displays of affection, but it is liking to touch and feel your partner.
Sometimes we speak different love languages than our partner, and that is ok. Understanding that we can change our communication to speak in our partners love language shows that you love them and want to communicate that you love them to them. It takes effort and is not always easy to remind yourself to do this, but the effort that you put in is usually well received. This is a very unselfish act.
Love Buckets
Love buckets go one step further.
Love buckets are how you can fulfil yourself through self-care when understanding your love language. Like me, you might gravitate to more than one love language. This is totally normal as not everyone fits into one category.
My Love Buckets
My love languages are a bit of all the love languages. Yes, of course, I have to be that complicated, complex person needing all the attention. This really made me puzzled for a while, and my partner frustrated at times, but then I came up with love buckets to explain it better to him.
The two love languages that I gravitate to are quality time and physical touch. To be present with someone and to give them your full attention melts my heart, so quality time is definitely my number one. Quality time with anyone special to me makes me feel on top of the world… especially in today’s busy world.
Physical touch is also important to me. This has changed over the years. I used not to like hugs… when friends got together and hugged, it was not for me. Now, give me all the hugs!!
The love languages are talked about when communicating with your partner. Love buckets are more about you in general. What do you NEED in life that serves you and makes you happy?
You might be wondering; well how can I tell what I need and what will serve me? Fair call. I wondered this for a while. It wasn’t until I was willing to be mindful about what REALLY made me happy and brought me joy that I began to understand. The opposite helped as well, yes, what disappointed me or didn’t really do it for me. Reflection, being mindful and accepting what is really happening is the key.
You are you. You are wonderful as you are. You are imperfectly perfect. It is up to you to accept this and understand that you, as you are, are enough. When you can accept you for you, you accept the things and stuff that serve you and make you happy.
For me, when I accepted this, then I understood what I needed. When I understood what I needed, I broke the love languages down into self-love buckets with explanations.
Helping To Define Your Love Buckets
Quality Time
Girly Time
Catching up with any of my girlfriends for coffee, shopping, get together, brunch or to do anything where we are enjoying each other’s company.
Me Time
Alone time doing the things and the stuff that brings me joy - this is not alone time in front of the tv, this is productive alone time focusing on doing something that calms me down and brings me joy
Partner Time
Date nights, date days and morning adventures with my partner and the dog where we laugh, love and doing the things and stuff that we like doing together.
Family Time
Catching up with any of mine or my partner’s family.
Friend Time
Catching up with any of mine or my partners friends.
Creative Time
Doing the things and the stuff that brings you joy by yourself or with others – hobbies, sports
Act of Service
Chores - dishes, laundry, cleaning
I love when all this stuff is done and I don’t care who does it. I appreciate when others do it and make sure I tell them how much I appreciate it so it keeps happening.
Planning out things or stuff to do
Planning out nice things to do for holidays, weekend adventures, date nights or hangouts at home to do something nice for yourself and whoever.
Doing acts of service for others
If you like having things done for you, do things and stuff for others - it all goes full circle.
Cook for myself and others
Do lovely activities like cooking for those around me and be present if people offer to do them for me.
Words of Affirmation
Give and receive compliments
Giving is as important and receiving but to make sure compliments are wholeheartedly given or received. This means saying thank you… no but, no and, no explanation.
Using words of affirmations daily
Build up those around me with my words and be meaningful when I talk to anyone.
Self-talk with affirmation
Build up myself from within and be mindful about my self-talk from morning until I fall asleep.
Receiving Gifts
Be appreciative of thoughtful gifts
Be thankful for any and all gifts received - its not materialistic or selfish if appreciated and serves you
Giving is just as good as receiving
Give as well as get because it is just as fulfilling
Physical Touch
Intimacy with your partner
Hugs, kisses, hand holding and more is always important.
Mom/Mum Hugs (hugs of any kind)
I love the type of hug that all Mom's give - that embrace where you can tell they mean it and don't want to let go.
Massage/Chiropractor/Physio or other
Physical touch doesn't have to be sexual, it can be touch that aligns your body and soul.
Love Buckets come can be anything. Anything that allows you to know what you need to help you get what serves you. To understand more about them tune into The Daily Squeeze or watch Take 61: Love Buckets or Take 62: Determining YOUR Love Buckets.
I have a wellness activity that outlines a holistic approach to understanding what it is that you need for a smoother journey to reach your goals. This activity called the wellness wheel is how I start off my journey with new clients. Self-care is so important for you to be on route to a happier, healthier you.
If you have any questions or comments, please let me know. I am happy to talk all things love buckets all day. If you find this information very helpful in your weight loss journey and want to dive into it to understand more of what your love buckets are and how to use them to your advantage, fill out an application to work with me and lets chat to see if we would be a good fit. If you enjoy this information, I’ll bet we will!
