Not Everyone Will Like You And That's OK.

I love lifting people up by playing to their strengths, its what I do. However, I can only lift people up so high, and then they need to take the empowerment that I am showing them and run with it themselves. This takes self-confidence and the belief that they can keep going. Some people will run with it, and others will do nothing with it. Some people find themselves happier from this process, and others find themselves more frustrated.

Last year someone told me that my downfall was being quite negative for someone who claims to be so happy and positive. At first, this really hurt my feelings. However, in reflection, I understand 2 things. #1. This person was intentionally trying to hurt my feelings and #2.  Strangely they were right.

I realised what they said held a lot of truth. I understood where they are coming from and why. They were bluntly truthful, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I tried my best to make a challenging situation work for me, but I wasn't happy in the environment that I was in when I was around them. Therefore, I wasn't happy, and this would have made being upbeat and positive all the time quite challenging.

This person is a lovely human in their own skin. I don't blame them for what they said or how they said it. In the environment that we met, I truly believe this person never got a chance to really know me. We met or a reason, and that reason was to challenge both of us to become better people and find happiness. I'll never know if we both did.

Hear me out.

In reflecting the person was correct in her statement about me. Why? Because I wasn't happy with the environment that I was in when I was around them. I tried to make the most of an unusual situation, a situation that made me quite uncomfortable. I believe I did the best I could do in that environment to be upbeat and positive but knew it was very difficult. So I showed up and tried to be the best me. Do I think I was overly negative? No. I was always doing the things that made me happy - coffees, talking health and wellness and trying to help where and when I could with the knowledge that I have. It just wasn't enough, and that reflects both on me and this person.

This person has no idea how much this statement weighed on my mind. However, I was not angry or mad. I really wanted to sit with my feelings from this and learn as much as possible from the situation. Why did it not sit well with me and how was I going to change so this wouldn't happen again.

I sat with my feelings on this, I processed them, and I am working on what this situation has taught me. The statement opened my eyes to understand that I wasn't happy. I was complacent, but I wasn't happy. I started to think, what is happiness?  

I defined it. I can best describe happiness as a state of feeling pleasure due to your environment around you. You environment consists of the people, places and things that surround you on a daily basis.

I started to ask myself, what makes me happy. I thought everything around made me happy, but the more I sat with it, the more I was trying to believe everything around me made me happy. I reflected from a different angle. Instead of asking myself what makes me happy, I started to think what didn't make me happy. When during my day did I not have a genuine smile on my face and when was I not comfortable in my own skin. There it was. The place that I was in when I was around this person did not make my heart sing. It did not make me happy.

Then I started to think, what could I do to try and make myself happy in this situation. What was the key to finding happiness there? I always look to change as an answer. Change shakes things up. I thought to change my attitude and/ or change my environment. Of course, being me, I opted for both.

I found an uplifting environment within the not so great environment that had lovely people to be around which made me comfortable to be me. This was a good place. I was laughing. I was me. Unfortunately, this positive change impacted negativity on this person, so it wasn't a good compromise. This was not my intention and nothing I knew about at the time. This is why communication is so important but that is a blog for another day.

What was it that I truly wanted? What would make me happy?
Sometimes you find out what you want by understanding what it is you really do not want.  There was a lot at that moment in time. Unfortunately, the place that didn't make me happy was where I was when I was around this person.

I tried. And I am proud of myself for trying.

I believe I lifted this person up in some of our conversations. I feel they were struggling with balancing some of their life. I tried to help, but again, you can only lift someone up so high before they have to take over themselves. I still believe this person will fly, but it wasn't their time when I knew them. They will fly one day, and I think this because I am me.

My take aways.

Sometimes you have to figure out what makes you unhappy to realise what makes you happy. Sometimes someone has to be bluntly honest with you to give you a wake up so that you can grow from the experience. It is how you react and what you take away from it to know who you are. The key to finding happiness... change your attitude or the environment. I tried my best. I surrounded myself with people in the environment who allowed me to be me however I couldn't be around those people often. It wasn't for the lack of trying.

Does it disappointment me that someone thinks negatively about me? Yes and no. I'm human, my ego hurt at first, but now, it's one person who said something that opened my eyes in a way that I needed. This person hasn't stayed in my life, and that was their choice. I can't please everyone.

I will never go into an environment again and become someone I am not. I will not let an environment take away my happiness. It is my choice to be there, and I will be me. Today, I am me. I like who I am, and I am ok if others don't like me.

I love me. I love who I am.

You can only do whats right for you. Make the choice to better yourself. The right people will lift you up and play to your strengths, find these people and keep them close. They are gold.

If you are in a situation that you aren't entirely comfortable in and want to figure out what change will benefit you, let's chat. I love to empower people to be their best self. My Happier and Healthier You Discovery Session is just this. Book your free session below. I look forward to helping you grow and find your happiness.